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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28873713">The Spark.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/MsChaos'>MsChaos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Tragedy, Drama, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I was in an angsty mood, Late Night Writing, late night watching buffy did this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:00:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28873713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsChaos/pseuds/MsChaos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A glimpse of what happened after Spike gotten his soul and before going back to Sunnydale.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Spark.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I don't know why I wrote this. Possibly inspired by watching season 7 episode 1 of Buffy and I was just in an angsty mood and decided to take it out on Spike. Joss Whedon started it!<br/>Not sure if this will be a one shot or a continuation because we didn't see how Spike got back to Sunnydale with his new found soul and the guilt that came with it so I'm dipping my toes in that.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He can feel it burning and burrowing under his skin. It felt like it was everywhere in his stomach and chest. So, the best possible solution was to dig it out. Obviously.</p>
<p>It didn’t hurt. When he clawed and ripped and scratched at his chest. What was underneath, hurt more. Blood dribbled down his stomach, disappearing into the dark fabric of his pants but he didn’t notice. He was focused on digging out the pain he was feeling.</p>
<p>He felt it wiggling and wasn’t that an annoying feeling.</p>
<p>Feeling. Feelings. That was new. And that’s why it had to be taken out.</p>
<p>He didn’t notice or see how his hands were knuckle deep with blood. His blood. No, wait its other peoples’ blood. It slithered down his fingers like warm silk. He used to love how Dru would slowly lick and suck the-</p>
<p>No. No, no.</p>
<p>NO.</p>
<p>His blood. It was his blood, not…</p>
<p>There was a noise ringing in his ear. He was trying to ignore that. He had other business to attend to first. Like getting this feeling out of him. It was different and it didn’t belong there.</p>
<p>He landed on his knees, gasping as his view came into focus. He was still tearing into his chest, this time the pain and feeling had traveled and settled into his unused heart. And then pain grew. He fell onto his back, a mixture of sobbing and whimpering torn out of his throat when he could finally see what this pain allowed him to see.</p>
<p>Blood. Not his blood. Human blood. People. Faces. Their fears, their eyes wide in recognition of how close to death they were about to become.</p>
<p>“No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no… please.” He whimpered, whipping his head back and forth.</p>
<p>That’s funny. That’s exactly what the people he killed to said to him. But they’re probably not listening at that moment.</p>
<p>He winced when a loud shriek hit his ears. He used his bloody hands to cover them, to block the noise. Their tears, their cries, their pleas echoed around in his head.  Young, old, male, and female. They all sounded the same when they were dying. It was the sound of fear.</p>
<p>He clutched his hands over his ears hard, fingers digging into his scalp. The blood on his fingers stained his bleached, blonde hair. He curled up into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that the images and the sound in his head would stop. Closing his eyes made it worse. The images flashed quickly like a flipbook, but he could see every single of them. Men, women, children. Young boys and girls.</p>
<p>“Please, stop!” He practically shouted. They used to say that, too. He remembered that is what you’re suppose to say when something is scary and it’s painful. You tell it, beg it to stop. Sometimes, it didn’t always work. He should know.</p>
<p>Oh, but now, he recognizes that feeling growing inside of him. That heavy weight that settled over his chest. It builds and builds. It burns and aches and he realized that it is inside him, all the way. Deep, deep, deep inside. And he can’t tear it out. The feeling expands until it feels like it had spread to every cell of his body.</p>
<p>He arched his back, almost bending like an upside-down U. The people’s faces and their screams become louder and clearer but he realizes that he was the one that was screaming as the pain in his chest explodes when he finally learns the name of that feeling.</p>
<p>Remorse. It was called remorse.</p>
<p>Angel should have told him that having a soul came with a lot of baggage for a vampire.</p>
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